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Dating, a new form of mixed-sex
socializing, arose in the nation’s growing cities during the second
decade of the twentieth century. It replaced earlier kinds of socializing
that had been found in small towns and rural areas, both casual forms
of mixing—such as church outings, picnics, sleigh rides, hay rides,
and community dances—and also the formal process of calling, in which
a young man paid a visit to a young woman’s house and was entertained
in her parlor.  The word dating entered the American language during the 1910s. Dating was connected to the emergence of new kinds of commercial amusements, such as amusement parks, ice cream parlors, and especially the movies, and to the rise of the automobile. As early as the 1890s, young people in rapidly growing cities had begun to spend more of their leisure time in commercial settings, such as amusement parks, dance halls, and nickelodeons. By the 1910s, adolescent boys, in growing numbers, had begun to ask girls out. During the 1920s and 1930s, dating also began to involve parties and high school events, including dances, plays, and football games.   Dating, unlike calling, was not about finding a mate. It was about having fun with a member of the opposite sex. At a time when gender relations were particularly distant, dating provided a way to bridge the gap.
Also unlike calling, which was monitored by adults, the dating system
was overseen by young people themselves. The peer group set the rules
for dating. Through gossip and teasing, it helped determine who one
could go out with and how much sexual intimacy was allowed. Dating was highly gendered. A boy was expected to ask a girl out,
pay for the date, and provide the transportation. In return, he expected
physical intimacy: a good-night kiss or petting. A young woman was responsible
for resisting any inappropriate sexual advances.
During the 1920s and 1930s, a young woman’s popularity was measured by how frequently she was asked out on dates. It was not uncommon for urban middle-class young women to go out on dates three or more times a week. Sociologists later discovered that those young women who dated the most were the least likely to pursue an advanced education and were especially likely to marry young. A new vocabulary gradually appeared, including such words as crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, and going steady. An especially important word was “bashful,” to describe boys who were reluctant to date. By the 1930s, dating had become highly ritualized. Informal dating was followed by going steady (a new phrase during the Depression decade), getting pinned, getting engaged and then getting married.
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