Your
most kind and most welcome letter of the 8th inst. reached me
in due time. I am very grateful for all the good feeling you
express, and also for the kind counsels you give, together with
your prayers in my behalf. Allow me here to say, notwithstanding
"my soul is among lions," still I believe that "God
in very deed is with me." You will not, therefore, feel
surprised when I tell you that I am "'joyful in all my
tribulation"; that I do not feel condemned of Him whose
judgment is just, nor of my own conscience. Nor do I feel degraded
by my imprisonment, my chains, or prospect of the gallows. I
have not only been- though utterly unworthy)- permitted to suffer
affliction with God's people," but have also had a great
many rare opportunities for "preaching righteousness in
the great congregation." I trust it will not all be lost.
The jailer (in whose charge I am) and his family and assistants
have all been most kind; and notwithstanding he was one of the
bravest of all who fought me, he is now being abused for his
humanity. So far as my observation goes, none but brave men
are likely to be humane to a fallen foe. "Cowards prove
their courage by their ferocity." It may be done in that
way with but little risk.
I
wish I could write you about a few only of the interesting times
I here experience with different classes of men, clergymen among
others. Christ, the great captain of liberty as well as of salvation,
and who began his mission, as foretold of him, by proclaiming
it, saw fit to take from me a sword of steel after I had carried
it for a time; but he has put another in my hand ("the
sword of the Spirit"), and I pray God to make me a faithful
soldier, wherever he may send me, not less on the scaffold than
when surrounded by my warmest sympathizers.
My
dear old friend, I do assure you I have not forgotten our last
meeting, nor our retrospective look over the route by which
God had then led us; and I bless his name that he has again
enabled me to hear your words of cheering and comfort at a time
when I, at `
least, any on the "brink of Jordan." (See Bunyan's
"Pilgrim.") God in infinite mercy grant us soon another
meeting on the opposite shore. I have often passed under the
rod of him whom I call my Father, and certainly no son ever
needed it oftener; and yet I have enjoyed much of life, as I
was enabled to discover the secret of this somewhat early. It
has been in making the prosperity and happiness of others my
own; so that really I have had a great deal of prosperity. I
am very prosperous still; and looking forward to a time when
"peace on earth and good will to men" shall everywhere
prevail, I have no murmuring thoughts or envious feelings to
fret my mind. "I'll praise my Maker with my breath."
. . .
As
I believe most firmly that God reigns, I cannot believe that
anything I have done, suffered, or may yet suffer will be lost
to the cause of God or of humanity. And before I began my work
at Harper's Ferry, I felt assured that in the worst event it
would certainly pay. I often expressed that belief; and I can
now see no possible cause to alter my mind. I am not as yet,
in the main, at all disappointed. I have been a good deal disappointed
as it regards myself in not keeping up to my own plans; but
I now feel entirely reconciled to that, even, for God's plan
was infinitely better, no doubt, or I should have kept to my
own. Had Samson kept to his determination of not telling Delilah
wherein his great strength lay, he would probably have never
overturned the house. I did not tell Delilah, but I was induced
to act very contrary to my better judgment; and I have lost
my two noble boys, and other friends, if not my two eyes.
But
"God's will, not mine, be done." I feel a comfortable
hope that, like that erring servant of whom I have just been
writing, even I may (through infinite mercy in Christ Jesus)
yet "die in faith." As to both the time and manner
of my death, I have but very little trouble on that score, and
am able to be (as you exhort) "of good cheer."….